Did you know some days I can not remember how spell circle or I never spell together right. I started blogging to write better. I like to write if I have knowledge about a topic, and I can write a seriously mean introduction to an academic paper. That is where my little talent stops. If it was not for spell check I would have NOT made it through college or be able to blog.
I knew that something was different about me when in first grade I could not spell the word circle, and then my teacher covered all the pictures in my reading book. I went to have some test done, and sure enough I had “it” Dyslexia, the big D. You see my Dad has the D too. I have it less pronounced than him. Well, I met with a special teacher and I worked hard to get into advanced English in high school (fought with Mr. Richardson to recommend me). But I still felt stupid; I could write what I wanted to say it just never came out. My first year of college was awful I would ask friends to edit papers and they would say it looked fine, so I would turn it in. C. C. My school’s second language requirement made it worse, I can’t even spell in English how can I do in a different language. In the end I had to learn a few things one was how to accept positive feedback, to use the writing center, other students don’t have time to help you, and that my mom really understood me. With her support we developed a plan to write papers it went like this: write, send to mom, rewrite, go to the writing center, cry to mom, rewrite, send to my mom again, complain to mom, rewrite, and send it to her one more time. Turn the paper in.
Through this process I learned that there are things in life where only a person who truly understands you will be able to help you in the way you need. I never thought of my mom as the smart parent, but I learned though the process that a true sense of who a person is can make them smart in so many other ways. I often thought about what I would have done with out her. I think I would have never made it though. My professors would never understand the disconnect in my brain. In fact one said to me “but you speak so well, and that is all writing is…” I thought, really that is all it is…if it were only so simple. Many times when you come to terms with shortfalls in your life it is because of big events.
But blogging has given me the freedom to write in a way that makes me happy and come to a place safety and security about who I am and my abilities as a writer and not to have my mom proof read it. My blog is my written "home". When I do face criticism about my “writing” which came up in my job review, I think I can accept them and move on. I try my best and but even better I don’t feel stupid anymore when I can’t spell circle.
This post is for the scribbit April write away contest.